GEEK MODE: So...ive done some digging and it does seem pretty common to be the ELV, the steering lock. If the car has battery issues and various other factors, then there is an internal counter within the CAS Control unit that can MAX out its tries to fix itself. usually when it maxes out it fully shuts itself down, meaning ££££ to repair. Ive done some background work (as well as reinstalling INPA, NCSDummy, MCSExpert, WinKFP, and more importantly Tool32 which can clear this counter and im hoping will allow me to start the car to get it home to do more checks. Thats a massive priority for me!
Some more digging around in an old readout i have of my MINIs own CAS ECU is the mention of more ELV values, so i might have a tinker around and see if I can cancel out this option for good to prevent me having this issue again. Im also told that MINIs after 2008 dont have this system, so lucky you lot with MINIs after this date haha